Introduction...why I started this blog in the first place

Hello, everyone! ...or, no one--I'm not sure who's going to read this but I thought I'd document this unfolding chapter of my life for a few reasons:

1. Community--it's always nice to be able to relate to other people
2. Story telling--I love to write but prior to this, had no real outlet for that
3. Accountability--if nothing else, thinking I have an audience will inspire me to stay the course

 Now, I know you've probably deduced by now that this blog is one of a million that has something to do with dieting, but stop right there--this isn't a blog where I'm documenting my progress on some fad diet with pictures of how I lost 20 pounds in three weeks.  I'm not here to post any "thinspiration" or any of that shit that makes you feel terrible about yourself.  I'm not here to judge, call people out, make grandiose claims about the effectiveness of THIS diet versus THAT diet; I'm just here to tell my story in hopes that it might inspire someone else out there struggling with something similar.

Let me start from the beginning.  Last night, I watched a documentary entitled "Hungry for Change."  Now, I'm the type of person that tends to get really absorbed in movies regardless of the genre, so I've had this feeling before; I watched something eye-opening and now I want to change the world!  Of course, that fades in a matter of hours as I get absorbed back into my own life.  This documentary, however, was different.  It spoke to me on a personal level about an issue I've struggled with throughout my young adulthood.

Currently, I'm a 23-year-old female who, like many other young men and women, has been unhappy with her body since college.  I've tried it all--starvation, hCG, low carb, no carb, all liquids--you name it, I've tried it.  Although I'm not terribly overweight, I've always envisioned myself as having this slim yet toned and strong body.  I've always known, as have most people, that the best way to go about it is a combination of exercise and healthy diet; no processed foods, refined sugars, high fructose corn syrup, blah blah blah blah, but who WANTS to do that?  Would I rather eat a chocolate croissant or dried kale chips and chia seeds?  These seemingly "obvious" choices are what got me into this trouble in the first place.

Back to the film: it contained a lot of important information in terms of pure statistics (for example, the average American consumes 22 teaspoons of sugar PER DAY), but the most hard-hitting thing that was said on the film had to do with self-love.  If you don't love yourself fully and unconditionally RIGHT NOW, it's so easy to throw a bunch of processed crap into your face until you've eaten the sadness away.  That's when it sort of clicked for me: I don't love myself.  I'm not confident enough in myself to change for the better.  Why am I not doing something I love every day?  Lack of confidence.  Why did I come live with my parents after college? Lack of confidence.  Sure, I like to tell people it's because my dad just got his knees replaced and he needs my help, but truthfully, it's because I don't believe in myself enough as an adult to venture out of my comfort zone.

Let me get to the point a little quicker here.  I started this blog because I want to change my outlook.  I have an unhealthy relationship with food and I intend to change that.  In the past, I would go on these fad diets so I could get skinny enough to eat all the fatty, terrible, processed foods I want, all without realizing how internally flawed that plan was.  I'm not looking for a "quick fix" anymore--I want a permanent solution, namely, a lifestyle change.  So, this is my journey to self-loving.  If you have any advice, comments, or whatever, feel free to contact me.  I'm excited for what's to come, but right now, I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

Thanks for reading, and check back soon for updates!